THIS IS A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AND NOT MEDICAL ADVICE
I'm 20 and have never been able to pull my foreskin behind the glans, either when flaccid or erect. I do stretching exercises and take measures to keep everything clean, and to my knowledge I have never had an infection. This has only ever managed to loosen the skin a little, but not do much else. But of course, having sex was my biggest worry: when I pull my foreskin back, I can feel some tightness since essentially the hole in the foreskin isn't big enough.
I had sex for the first time this week, and have now done it four times. I used a condom and put on the condom with my foreskin forwards. I had some initial problems with the first penetration, partly because I felt a little tight and partly because I was nervous; I lost my erection a couple of times. But by the time we sorted that out, it was absolutely fine. I felt the skin pull back a little bit when I inserted it, but not painfully so - it remained covering the vast majority of the glans. I was able to thrust and feel the skin move forwards and backwards, and feel the vagina around my penis: despite me being really nervous about the whole thing, we both had a great time. It was really pleasurable - much, much better than masturbation! I now feel able to thrust a lot without worrying about hurting myself.
I'm not sure it would work so well without a condom. We used latex-free SKYN condoms, and (although I don't know much about condoms) I feel like their texture is thicker and less tight. The condom does stick pretty close to your skin, but this condom allowed for some extra movement. Condoms should never be completely tight because you should keep a little empty well at the end for your semen, and I wouldn't say that the condom is glued to my skin: when you move up and down, your skin moves, but there's some movement in the condom as well, so I guess friction is reduced.
I didn't use any artificial lubrication, but I've always felt like my own natural lubrication makes a big difference to how tight the skin is. In short, when I'm turned on, I feel less like sex will hurt. And just as importantly, my girlfriend was really turned on as well: the vagina can get pretty wet, and that will also help reduce the friction that could potentially hurt your skin. My advice is not to just stick it straight in there, but make sure your bodies are ready for it. Funnily enough, the first time, I found it quite hard to find the 'hole', since it seems really small at first, certainly not big enough for a (hardly impressively-sized) penis. But vaginas are a muscle. They are wet and change size depending on what you put in them. It feels tight and close around your dick but not too tight, since it sort of 'gives way' when you first penetrate. But I guess that won't happen if your partner isn't sufficiently aroused.
But when it comes to sex with phimosis, for me the most important thing was trust. This concern was something I'd talked about quite a bit to my girlfriend and so she knew I was worried. The best thing was that she told me that she didn't mind if it didn't work since she wasn't in it for the sex. Since sex with phimosis is scary and potentially problematic, I'd advise that you only do it with someone who you can talk to about it, and someone who really cares about your wellbeing. That means that if it goes wrong you'll feel much better about it, and it'll be more likely to be a positive experience, since your partner will allow you a bit of leeway and not expect you to be, er, aggressively and immediately thrusting from the word go. It's okay to feel insecure about your foreskin, but the solution is to find someone who will love you for who you are. (That sounds like sentimental crap, but, like all sentimental crap, it's also true.)
This is not medical advice. Every case is unique. It might be that my phimosis is mild enough for me to be able to have sex, or, as I've heard elsewhere, severe enough: if there's no possibility that a foreskin will slide down past the glans, sex is safer, since there's no possibility of the person hurting themselves. I've written this only because I want to have my story online: there seem to be very, very few positive experiences to read about sex with phimosis, even though, with such a common condition, it must happen all the time. Of course, you should seek medical attention before trying anything that might cause you harm. But in some cases, it is possible to have really fulfilling sexual experiences with phimosis, and you should entertain that possibility before changing your penis irreversibly. But if you are going to try to have sex with phimosis, do it with a condom, do it when aroused, do it carefully, and do it with someone you trust. And if anything hurts, STOP. Don't be stupid, and don't worry about looking like an idiot. Your health is more important than that.
Please, if you read this post, feel free to copy and paste it elsewhere; I've only posted it to share my experience because I think others might find it valuable. I don't need to be credited with it: I just want others to know that it is possible to have positive sexual experiences with this condition.
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ReplyDeleteThanks man.
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